I Don't Want To Be Alone

What my family vacation taught me about the pandemic of loneliness

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

If you’ve been following my journey lately you know I lost my father back in May. It wasn’t great timing but that’s the funny thing about death - no one consults you about your schedule before it happens.

Then this month I had another hurdle to get over. I was taking my entire family to visit my mother in my childhood home, Prince Edward Island, Canada. I haven’t been there in at least 15 years. It’s very difficult to get to from here. Going from the coast of Southern California to the coastal island off the Eastern Canada shore costs more than a European vacation and takes about as long. Not only that, the Island (as it is affectionately known to Canadians) does not hold a lot of great memories for me. My life was traumatic for different reasons, not the least of which is having to grow up with extreme racial abuse.

All that to say it wasn’t a trip I was particularly looking forward to. The expense, the distance, the grief I was navigating…it felt like a hump to get over rather than something exciting.